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Readings and Parties

 

To book me for parties, events and otherwise, please email me at vheidr@fluidsparkmedia.com

I require 100% of my fee at the time of booking. 

Caveat emptor

I do not issue refunds in most cases. I will, however, happily reschedule your appointment. If you did not familiarize yourself with my unique style: well, tough shit. I am not a Magic 8 ball, I am not Miss Cleo, and no, I am not someone to turn to for affirmation of your shitty life decisions. Trust me, you can find those out there- and it ain’t me. I bring hard truths merged with compassion and I will never, ever use what you want to hear to milk you for more cash. I also do not encourage codependent relationships with my clients: my goal is that you don’t need me. 

In any case, I suggest you read a few blog posts before you do your thing. I’m less cup of tea, more mushrooms and moonshine. Got a bit of a weird kick that I am unashamed of.

Parties and Events

I can be booked for parties for $100 per hour plus tips, minimum 1 hour, maximum 5 hours. For these gigs, I do not charge reading rates, so your party-goers will be able to enjoy mini-readings of roughly 15-20 minutes at no cost to them.

For charities and other events, I do not charge at all to ensure that 100% of the proceeds go to the charity itself. I feel that it is my duty to give back to the community in which I reside in this way, so please, do not hesitate to contact me about your events. I can even help you plan your first “Tarot Fair” and may be able to bring on others to help out.

I do, however, reserve the right to refuse in such cases where there are scheduling conflicts or ideological differences in either case.

Readings

Absolutely nowhere on my site will you find a “For entertainment purposes only” disclaimer. Though I’m a pretty colorful gal and sure, I guess I’m fun for shits and giggles- I’m not an entertainer. 

I am also not your submissive, ergo- I will not put up with your verbal abuse and orders. If you feel the need to treat anyone that way without explicit and enthusiastic consent, I reckon you probably need more help than I can offer you at this time, anyhow. 

Respect me, respect my time and my talent and I will return in kind. Easy peazey, lemon squeazy. Your privacy is incredibly important to me, and not only do I not sell or give away your information- but, heck, I haven’t even gotten around to creating my own mailing list. I swear, I’m working on it. I think. Point being: I don’t care who you are, your information is safe with me and I don’t even discuss it with my partner. 

I can be booked for in person readings, Skype (Text, video and phone.) for $80.00 per hour, one hour minimum. Please be aware that I do not run over unless I feel it’s needed in your case- and should I choose to make that happen, you will not be charged. If you feel you will need more time- book more time. I’m not one to drag it out for more cash. Be punctual for your appointments- 15 minutes late and I will simply reschedule for another time.

If you’re looking for something a bit less comprehensive while still useful, pop on over to my Chart Report Page.  I keep these options affordable and efficient because I know not everybody can just drop 80 bucks to talk to me.

Radio and TV People

I have a grand old time doing radio spots and I tend to rile people up pretty good.

As to tv: ya’ll tend to look for people who are a bit of the Oh So Weird in ways I just ain’t. If you’re looking for robes and shit, you’ll find them. I’d prefer you not waste your time and mine by hitting me up and then trying to play New Age Dipshit Makeover. If you’re interested in me and what I can do, happy to hear from you, but I’m really not the droid you’re looking for if you’re looking for some uber pretentious dweeb in a cheaply made cloak.

 

 

 

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