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Jupiter Direct- New Moon In Cancer, side of Partial eclipse…to go, please.


July 10th-12th, 2018.

Before I begin, let me say that my friend’s husband and their kiddo nearly made me pee my pants this morning. I’ve got a fantastic ally in being productive, typically because hardly anyone else is awake when I am for a good 4-5 hour stretch. I mentioned before, I am a short sleeper and I tend to wake up around 3:30-4:00 am, every day. So, this morning as I was sitting here, reading the news, having my coffee- I see a car pull up and the shadowy figure of a man steps out. He’s heading into my yard. Oh shit, oh shit, what the fuck? But then I see a small child’s shadow, too. Wait, what?

Oh, no, I know those people. Insomniacs and I tend to get along real well, too. Every so often I wind up with an early morning appointment because of this- but that wasn’t the case. He just couldn’t sleep and thought it’d be funny to make me pee my pants. Nearly did. Actually given what they’ve said of their young man- who is my youngest’s buddy: he might also be a short sleeper. Anyrate… I keep weird hours so this is usually fine. Though, I tell you- I am still baffled by people who get pissy because my notifications go OFF at 9 pm when I go to sleep. Honey child, you wait. I don’t sleep much but when I do, it’s MINE.

I want to touch, just a minute, on something I have seen happening for years with Mercury retrograde- and have seen a handful of times now, with other planetary retrogrades since it’s kinda becoming vogue to talk about them. Don’t get me wrong- this isn’t hipsterism, there is a large part of me going “Well, it’s about time.” but, like with anything else, instead of utilizing these things in a constructive way- what ends up happening is, you have a shitload of people just convincing themselves of a laundry list of everything that will go wrong. Or worse, convincing themselves of all the things that will go right in those cases, who are just disheartened when it doesn’t happen.

Point 1: The Universe is so indifferent about you. The concept of preternatural or even natural benevolence is kind of mind boggling in itself- but, when you come to a point of recognizing that, you free yourself. A lot. The Universe, most people at large, you name it- they are pretty unaware of your existence and this is actually a profoundly wonderful thing. Cue up Kansas Dust in the Wind and don’t be sad about it. Fate hasn’t decided your life is one of glory- and it hasn’t decided it’s a shitshow either. That guy on the street was probably thinking about nachos and not just out to screw you over. On and on that list goes.

At some point, I will also go into how detachment doesn’t mean you are an indifferent piece of shit who can shrug and go, “Well, your feelings don’t matter. I can do what I want and screw your feelings anyhow.” Because…um, that isn’t really how it works, either.

Well, if Fate doesn’t decide it, who does?

Well, there’s where it is most decidedly about you. 

Back to the Jupiter retrograde thing, here. Jupiter stationed retrograde back in March. Full disclosure: I totally ignored what I know to be true of these things, because reasons.  Trust me, even astrologers who’ve been at this longer than I’ve been alive do this. Nobody’s alone in how their brain weasels over ride their sense- and I’ve known what this cycle’s been after me for for freaking years. 

Even if I didn’t know shit about astrology, I would. This is how these things work: in cycles. My drier doesn’t get heavy clothes dry with just one cycle. Now, knowing this, I could continue to take my clothes out, still damp and constantly blame the goddamn drier for why they smell a little weird. Or, I could turn the little dial back and let it dry longer.

I could heave a sigh of relief, knowing that is that since you know, a few extra minutes and the drier solves the problem each cycle of clothes I dry while still bitching about SIGH Gotta Dry The Clothes Again. Freaking DRIER retrograde. Well, ten more minutes and it’s over…

Or, I could…fix the fuckin’ drier.

Both of those things are preferable to damp, stinky clothes and whining about how I have no choice because it’s the drier’s fault. Choices are good. Sometimes, they’re harder than that- but they’re there. This isn’t just that shitty, patronizingly glib “Oh you’re responsible for how you react” but also, you may well be responsible for…enacting changes and fighting for change on bigger levels. Welcome to Fate, this is how it works. You might feel you’re only a drop in the bucket and, like I said: that’s a good way to look at it. But lots of drops in the bucket is usually what it takes to fill it up.

Planetary retrogrades are a lot like this. You have something that happens on a consistent basis where things essentially intensify or go assbackwards. You don’t even have to believe in astrology- but I bet you damn sure believe in times in your life where trying to do the same shit or push through just brings the same damn results.

That’s really all this is and tying it to planetary influences- well, that’s compartmentalizing in a way that can either be constructive…or not.

Jupiter, in particular, stations retrograde like every 13 months or so. This four month long cycle tends to show us what’s fucking up our growth. Where we screw up and it slows us down. Like any planetary retrograde cycle: it’s about facing the shit you really probably didn’t want to or couldn’t and owning it so you can fix the problem but, because it’s Jupiter, it tends to involve those things limiting your ability to succeed.

Each time it does this, it will be impacted and the details filled out not only by other planetary and astrological goings on- but, the way it hits you, individually, will be different as it interacts with the things in your particular chart. So, any time you read things like this- even mine, you need to bear in mind that your chart looks like this:

Well…not EXACTLY like this. Unless you’re me or unless you happened to have exactly the same birth data as me. 

Now, that’s a lot of shit right there. Not just the houses, signs, planets but also the hot mess in the middle. Jupiter as it happens, is just one planet in there. One of those little symbols.

In the case of this retrograde- it stationed retrograde in Scorpio. It stations direct in Scorpio, too but if I were to pull up the Jupiter Direct chart, you’d see the bigger player here is in fact: that crap in the middle. Aspects.

And this is why I am focusing on a blend of the direct station with this New Moon in Cancer, also a partial Solar Eclipse on the 12th. If you’re thinking about the Universe in the context of…I don’t know, personifying it: well, for astrology, the Universe lost its dayplanner but it always just vaguely remembers when things happen. Because, well, for humans, a year seems like a very long time. A lifetime seems like a very long time.

You know, though, 80 years or so vs. 13 billion years or so. Just like your crotchety old fart granny thinks you’re hilarious for thinking you’re grown at 16- the Universe laughs pretty hard at your concept of time. Because it doesn’t really have one. In the context of astrology, with everything interplaying with everything else- you are a spider on a web. A bug gets caught all the way on the other side- and you feel it in every strand. You gonna eat or let it rip your web all up?

If you think I didn’t talk about the important parts of Jupiter retrograde when I was talking about how we tend to be self centered dumbasses- you are incorrect. That’s exactly the thrust of this one. Ask yourself how thinking it’s all about you is going? Got some issues? Maybe a big fat ulcer? Maybe you want to stop doing that. Take some steps.

I pulled this one up and went, “Oh Pluto, babe. There you are. Want a glass of Pom Wonderful? I’ve already had some. Holy shit that’s a tight little orb, isn’t it?


As below, so above and beyond,
I imagine drawn beyond the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over-thinking, over-analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.


Ages ago I was having this awesome discussion with my friend Brian. Brian always seems like such a stoic asshole. So practical. There is, however, a place for that and that place tends to be- the foundation. 

Thing is, you can’t have a house with just a foundation. You can’t have a decent house without one, either. We were discussing how spirituality and religion are not mutually exclusive- rules giving structure to progress.

How’s your foundation without the interwoven collective above it making for a warm home? CONSIDER BALANCE, both of ya. You build a foundation but you don’t have anyone to tend your hearth? Ooooo, gonna be cold, with an empty belly. If you are oh so practical: you may wish to consider the appreciation for the nurturing of the spiritual. If you are oh so spiritual, consider the protection structure provides and both of you: act like you give a shit about it before you lose it. Respect or expect to be cold and wobbly. Treat your cup bearers with respect or you’re gonna be one thirsty motherfucker. Treat your foundation builders with respect or your hall blows away.

Foundations are EVERYTHING. Support is EVERYTHING. Frith is the motherfuckin’ religion.

Denial and cognitive biases do not make you right, sit the fuck on down, kid. You appreciate and love the wisdom- you’d better start respecting the compassion which puts the wisdom to use and vice versa.

Here’s the crux of this Jupiter-direct Solar Eclipse fun. You may wish to read up on the Cancer-Capricorn axis which is all about the balance of masculine paternal and feminine maternal. Are you goin’ the right way for a smart bottom? You might be.

From an astrological point of view, it’s a great time to work on things you’d like to see starting to come to fruition by the end of the month when we have a lunar eclipse.

So, Pluto is still retrograde and this eclipse is opposite Pluto. What’s that mean?

Your self destructive bullshit is hurting those you hold in high esteem- and it’s probably also hurting you. Attempts at domination or you rolling over and allowing for it will not benefit you now- jealousy, addiction, even just hard headedness is not gonna do you a lot of good, in fact, it’s probably gonna fuck you up pretty bad. So, stop it.


Stubbornly refusing to see things from other perspectives and clinging to the mistakes you make like you get paid to make them is not the way forward. Emotional wounds from your past are impacting your choices now: and you need to pull your head out of your ass. Unless you just like bitching about how things keep happening, that is: because change happens whether you like it or not. If you make the changes you need to, you’ll find things go a lot better. This may seem like an ego and balls-busting shit show: but it won’t be if you are a bit more open to what needs doing rather than clinging to the shit you KNOW hurts yourself and others.

Evolve and grow up a bit.

Though yes, Jupiter will be out of retrograde- Pluto’s still there and you’ll be hard pressed to move forward without dealing with your control issues. Have you allowed somebody to bully you into silence or inaction? Have you been the one who power tripped to the point you alienated people for not sharing an opinion of yours which frankly, could use a little changing?

Here’s where Fate does in fact, get on board with things.

Will you persist in whining and bellyaching about how things shake out or will you make the changes you need to in order to master yourself?

If you are power tripping to the point you alienate someone you adore because you feel they should share your opinion- your self control and mastery could use a bit of work. If you allowed someone to do that to you out of worry about speaking up- yours could, too.

That said, let me touch on that GLORIOUS Grand Trine there with Venus, Uranus and Saturn in closing- that balance I spoke of earlier can be had and in fact, it needs to be. You want to make positive changes, you want to move forward in those ways you’ve been dreaming of for years or even decades- well, time to change. Find the balance in the middle. Understand the vital contributions of the individual to the whole.

How many times will you alienate the ones you care about, because you’re rejecting that part of yourself that’s been wounded?

Putting bit and bridle on the ones in your life that remind you of it ain’t gonna fix it. What they do isn’t about you- but what is about you is why you think it is.
Fix that.

While no, nothing is all about you- you bring far, far too much to the table for you to either flip the fucking table or allow someone to flip it- because your old wounds prod you to feel you must do either.

Stop it.






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