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Smart Drugs and the Sausage Fest

Edit: Please note, there’s a reason I mention my pre-existing diagnosis and prior reaction to stimulants. I felt like maybe I should make this pretty clear when I say that I sleep not only “just fine” but quite heavily- you may not respond the same way, as a matter of fact, the odds are you probably will not. Though, if you have ADHD, you may. Purely anecdotally but since I started talking openly about that kind of thing, others who have ADHD have mentioned similar things, but some have not. That’s pretty much why I am big on the YMMV. Lol 

I am genuinely surprised at the number of emails I’ve gotten about my posts on Nootropics. I am not, however, surprised that the majority of them seem to be from women. Believe me, if you’re a woman and you’ve been looking into it: I know. Oh, lord, I know.


Now, this is not a feminist “rant” at all. Here’s the thing about playing chemistry set with your head- regardless of your gender: your mileage may vary. (YMMV) I used to be a kind of casual here and there stacker- but, I think I found my sweet spot.


And if you’re lucky, then, the god’s a she… 😉

Also, before I get into this: I nerd on this stuff so freaking hard. Always have. I JUST started uploading some of the reviews, papers and otherwise I have been reading through- bear in mind, reading through and studying, not using as “evidence” yet: and I pop ’em in my Googler here.  I am actually working on a few different projects. I get shitloads of emails and otherwise from high seekers- please kick rocks. That’s not what I am about and you won’t listen to me anyway.

In my case, I am a 38 year old woman with ADHD and I am on the autism spectrum. I had issues with PTSD that I addressed via talk and cognitive behavioral therapy- and on that front: I can tell you that there isn’t a whole lot you’re going to do that’s going to put the kibosh on that shit without putting in the hard work of addressing it. Whether or not you choose to opt for medication here and there in the meantime or long term medication- that’s down to you. But, if you do opt for it, make sure you discuss any supplementation with your doctor- matter of fact, if you’re on medication to begin with, for anything, that’s pretty much the thing. I am not a doctor, and I can’t give you medical advice, clearly. I can, however, tell you about my experiences.

As with anything in terms of YMMV, there are a shitload of factors as to why it will and yes, gender is one of them. Well, less gender and more your hormonal makeup, I guess. Anyway- a huge thing I have noticed, right off the jump is: the sexual side effects to some of these supplements differs quite a bit between men and women, in particular.

I will get to that in a second. First, I need to revise and update something: my stacks and a bit of another caveat: I have ADHD. I have been on quite a few medications over the years here and there, I also fell into the addiction trap in terms of self medicating. It ain’t worth it. It was, however, addiction which led me to figuring some things out for myself. As with hormonal differences: my ADHD is definitely going to make my response to certain things different than yours, if you don’t have it. I am also a naturally short sleeper- meaning, and this is important: I do not suffer daytime drowsiness even though I only get at most, 5 hours of sleep a night. This is something not yet fully understood and there are a number of studies going on about it, at present. One thing one of the awesome researchers I correspond with did tell me was: yeah, it’s seen a lot in ADHD and autism spectrum patients.

That said, I attempted the seeing a doctor, getting my meds in order: but, I was honest about having tangled with opiate addiction in the past.

What fucking sucks for me is that when I am abusing opiates: people assume I am fine. It’s when I am not abusing that they “accuse” me of being on drugs. The H part of ADHD is a pretty serious thing with me. Also, if you do not have ADHD: yeah, sorry, toots, things will poop out on you that don’t on me. (And occasionally I get that, too.)

This is actually pretty important

The reason I did seek out help this way was because I’d already made and had implemented a shitload of lifestyle changes as I’d gone through therapy- and beyond. Watching others experiment and researching, myself: I’d say this is actually the way to go about it. Unfortunately, not every doctor shucks their shitty Drug War bias at the door- and so, having dealt with that frustrating bullshit…

The first thing I did was find a decent multivitamin. For me, that is Tropical Oasis Mega Multiple Vitamin Mineral. (I’m not affiliated with any brand I mention here in any way: but hey, if you wanna email me at I could be. Lol)  I get mine on Amazon and I love this shit. I love this shit because it wasn’t so much that I noticed a tremendous boost change because of it- it’s because, well, the times I have switched because I thought I could cheap out: then, I noticed. Absorption is an issue in a lot of supplements, but also, shitty fillers and otherwise. It doesn’t taste horrible and frankly,  though yes, it does have “other” supplements added: in these multi-item formulas that’s usually not enough to cause an interaction. Also, it has 10 mgs of choline bitrate: which, on top of my food sources seems to be just fine for me. I have no idea if Dave Asprey was just talking out his ass or what- but, through trial and error: I realize, choline supplementation of most forms is just shitty for me beyond this. (I get brain fog like a motherfucker, everything annoys me and my executive function just shits all over itself. Additionally, there are some lower GI things I just…yeah, no. Thanks. Lol)

I also drink two cups of coffee in the morning: and, I’m a whole milk in my coffee kinda gal, but one of those cups is typically blended with a tablespoon of coconut oil: I didn’t do this for any nutritional benefit and can’t speak to that. I did it because I read that it was great for the skin and hair- and I happen to know that the topical application of a lot of things- and coconut oil is one of them doesn’t beat out ingestion. In coconut oil’s case, though this is a trendy ass thing: it’s incredibly comedogenic. I already knew that, but if you do not- it means, for the most part, even if you have gigantic pores of doom like I do- it’s just gonna sit on top your skin, possibly clogging said pores and for me, that means pimples I obsess over playing with and examining. Yeah, no thanks. It is one hellaciously awesome eye make up remover- however, I have discovered that argan oil works a lot better. But in my coffee? God, with cream, it’s wonderful, so, I figure: why the hell not? I wouldn’t realize until later this actually had another benefit- which I will get to.
(Edit: some people asked me about actual benefits of adding butter or coconut oil to your coffee- first, as far as butter goes: that tastes good. But, the only discernible possible benefit I can see is that theoretically- there may be a lipid binding mechanism at play whereby, more or less a time release sort of mechanism for the caffeine happens. I can’t validate that, but, if I had to guess- that’s why it seems to “last”.)

I also take care to stay hydrated. Again, that was moooostly because ingestion tends to beat topical. This was another habit that is best to adopt before you start playing psychonaut.

For a long, long time this was really all I did, while I got my shit together. Getting your shit together in the first place is pretty important- because if your shit is not in order, there’s nothing you’re going to take that will get it in order. So, for a while, there: I just got myself healthier both body and mind. I have lists, a white board next to my desk and a variety of organizational techniques that I continue to tinker with: because for me, this is the best way.

The Thomas Recipe

When I finally decided I was going to clean up, first: I tapered. I had tried the cold turkey thing and honestly: oh holy shit. Yeah, no. Not my thing. I also took about two weeks off once I jumped off said taper- but, I had been taking the multivitamin and doing the coffee thing for about 4 months prior to that.

I knew about the Thomas Recipe, there isn’t a junkie alive who doesn’t, I think. The recipe is typically:

  1. Some kinda benzo- I opted for children’s chewable benedryl, (Diphenhydramine) instead: I didn’t know I had a choline thing at the time, but knowing this now- I kinda wonder. Benzos are also anticholergenic but frankly having read and seen people go through those withdrawals, knowing myself, I thought: “Nah, better not.”
  2. Immodium. (loperamide) This one cracks me up- because recently, the FDA in all its stupid ass glory: is upset and amping the fear machine on people trying to get high on it. If you go on Bluelight and ask how to get immodium to cross the blood brain barrier: you’re going to get laughed at and made fun of- I don’t know any actual opiate/opoid abuser who recommends you even bother but, the FDA is stupid. It is, however, very valuable in terms of hitting those opoid receptors in your guts- and halting the hershey squirts. Am I shocked that the FDA’s trying to ban kratom and getting twitchy about loperamide? Even though I think “Oh, it’s haaaarmless!” is moronic- no, I’m not shocked. Big money in addicts using their cronies approved shit, that’s for sure.
  3. Wide spectrum mineral supplement: you want something with a good amount and type of zinc (I use citrate, because absorption is a thing) magnesium (glycinate), and potassium are really important and others have said that copper and phosphorous are important though I never added those supplements beyond what’s in my multi.
  4. Usually they say additional B6- this was another I didn’t go beyond the b vitamins in my multi.
  5. Hot showers. Okay, I prefer hot baths- but, hot showers are where it’s fucking at during acute withdrawal and I have no idea why.
  6. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM STRESSFUL SHITHEADS AND WELL MEANING ENABLERS. That’s my own personal addition to the Thomas Recipe- but if you are cleaning up, the thing is: you’re trying to survive, so fuck those assholes and fuck being nice about it. Tell them to kick rocks and leave you the hell alone. 
  7. L Tyrosine- according to the standard Thomas Recipe, 500 mgs, but this is not really that…great.  You should probably hit about 1000 mgs- and: there are things that major advocates of the Thomas Recipe always neglect to mention:

L-Tyrosine Best Practices 

First off: empty stomach, additionally: avoid taking amino acids at the same time. They will get into a cage match in your gut and probably cancel eachother out, which is a waste of money.

Some people find that they like N Acetyl Tyrosine better- I didn’t. You might. Some people also seem to take it at night- I don’t. It can have a stimulation effect, it doesn’t really in me, but I got into the habit and it stuck. (Actually, stimulants and I are hilarious. Back in the partying day, when we still rode dinosaurs to get where we were going- I’d snort like three rails of meth and go take a nap. this was probably why I got into opoids/opiates because frankly- I was like “WHY do you people love this shit?!”)

You need to take Vitamin C- I actually didn’t start supplementing with additional C until recently. The amount in my multi and in my diet seemed fine.

Here’s what I do, now:

Though some people don’t take l tyrosine all the time: I do. Because I noticed that when I drop it or the times I’ve tried other sources trying to cheap out- my moods get a bit on the weirdly chaotic side. Don’t ask me to explain that one, I am still researching potential reasons for it. Not everyone needs to take more of it all the time- my partner is one of those people. When he is dealing with shitty sleep due to his work- he does, though. Because this is a good application.

In the morning…

When I wake up: I drink a full glass of water with 1000 mgs of L Tyrosine, 200mcgs selenium, 500 mgs vitamin c and 100 mgs modafinil, while my coffee is brewing.

Sometimes, I drink another glass of water, just depending on how I feel that morning. Then, I drink my coffee, and I take 200 mg L Theanine.

I eat. Light protein breakfast, orange juice, very little carbs. That’s just because I hate eating breakfast at breakfast. I also take my multi-vitamin and 600 mgs of N-acetylcysteine.

I drink more water. I keep doing so, throughout the day. I am typically fairly physically active.

I do not get the dreaded modafinil headache. Purely anecdotal but, the only time that I did? I got sucked into a research rabbit hole and my god did I pay the price. It was like a migraine without the barfing: so, I make sure I pay attention and if I do go into research mode, I set alarms on my phone. I’ve got the metabolism of a hummingbird: so eating regularly is pretty important.

In the evening…

A lot of people ask me about melatonin- and honestly, I very rarely use it. But, when I do: I keep that dose WAY lower than what it says on the tin. And I do this with good reason- that dose is fucking insane. Less is definitely more: .3 mg at most. I usually take this with anywhere from 50-200 mg additional magnesium, depending honestly, on how I feel throughout the day- this might not be the best method for you if you haven’t pinpointed magnesium issues. If you overdo it on magnesium, you’re gonna find yourself shitting your brains out, so be careful. I also usually take 1000 mg of taurine and an additional 400 mgs of l-theanine and all of this usually with a huge glass of water about an hour before bed: and I sleep like a drunken bum.


I order racetams from Pure Nootropics and have had zero problems- the shipping was fast and though I was a pretty big Jarrow fangirl- I may be a convert: I tossed their L-Tyrosine and L Theanine in and I dig it.

I had experimented with phenylracetam, aniracetam and good ol piracetam before and knew that I seemed to respond to piracetam best. As I have mentioned before: I really am not into these because…well, because honestly, there is a threshold for how I want to feel and, I don’t need to.

Every once in a blue moon if I am working on a creative project in the evening: I’ll pop low dose piracetam. I obviously am not taking choline with this- but you might want to. Anecdotes abound about headache with and without- again, ymmv. Additionally, I can take this in the afternoon to evening and zonk on out when I need to: not everyone can.

Somebody else may be a better source for info on these, because I don’t have a real opinion of them: I do know sometimes the modafinil puts me into this sort of research and document only mode and piracetam will help with that: but this might be due to my ADHD and occasionally getting smacked with freaking hyperfocus I don’t want.

My partner on the other hand- cannot stand modafinil and actually found benefit with piracetam: so, again, it’s just one of those things you have to sort of work with and figure out what’s up for you.

Some people take HUGE freaking doses of these, some do not. Some take what’s called a loading dose- which is, a large first dose and go from there. Me? I keep it low dose, if at all- because honestly, I just have no need of it.

Sexual Side Effects

I am going to close on this one because this is one where as a female, I apparently differ a great deal- matter of fact, part of what sparked this was a friend of mine texted me, freaking out about how horny she’s been. It’s platonic, simmer down, sausages.

Last night, I was joking with my partner about a post on reddit regarding a 23 year old man and Ashwagandha. He apparently turned into a walking life support for his penis- but, dude is 23 and had been taking it 2 weeks. I had to kinda nod to “That’s probably placebo” but I was chuckling.

What do you think, should I take it?

I look over and

giphy (1)

Okay, I’m kidding. But close.

Uh, you don’t NEED anything for THAT.

This is only partially true- before I started taking better care of myself, I would go through weird stretches of adhedonia. My sex drive was in park. However, when I do take care of myself….I am a bit of an unapologetic hornball.

It might be placebo but, this is another reason I tend to steer clear of the racetams. One of the, uh, things I note when I do take piracetam is that I seem to have a bit of increased bloodflow going- which might also be a synergistic thing: and to be totally honest with you- it is like I’m getting my orgasms from a god, whether solo or with him. (As a matter of fact a few years back when I first attempted- that’s what I said to him: “HOLY SHIT KURT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH MY CROTCH?! NOOOOICE.” I’m one classy broad, what can I say?)

Dudes, on the other hand…seem to have..uh, mixed results. This morning when I was looking for information on that- I stumbled across Jake D.’s Nomadic Hustle.  I’ve read his blog here and there before- and it is a pretty nice resource if you’re looking for more info about a lot of things.

It felt a little weird to be sitting there thinking, “God damn, he’s HOT.” while reading a blog post about sexual side effects of modafinil: but there t’was. Not all aspects of the Smart Drug Sausage Fest are bad.. and yes, eye candy happens to be a benefit. Having said that, you fellas seem to get the shit end of the stick when it comes to common, anecdotal sexual side effects- but not always.

It can, however, be quite frustrating if you and your dude…have opposing side effects.

Announcements in closing- 

You’re gonna have to stay tuned, really. But for those of you who do hit me up about sexual subjects- from helping your fella become multi orgasmic to the best vibrator options… yeah. I  have something pretty exciting coming up in respect to that.


Oh and I only mention this one because it has happened several times now- but, for those of you trying to ferret some kind of gossip about uh, Things and Shit or trying to discern my opinion about…well, anyone in particular- you’re not subtle. You could just ask. That said, my reaction is:
And the reason those fishing expeditions go nowhere is because I just don’t give a shit. Some people have vastly over-estimated their importance in my life. 😉 A couple of Theodish/Heathen people I think are just the bee’s knees said it best: “What the hell does that have to do with what we do?” 

And it doesn’t, so yeah. No shits given. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

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