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Motherfucking Mercury Retrograde

Before I begin- you guys, I am testing out a new fundraising thing. If this has a good response- I will leave my prices on this and the donations on this as they stand for good. Not just for April, but for good. What this means for you is that you can get a basic natal report for $5, but it also means that some rescue pups and cats can get the food and care they need. It’s really a win win, so please CLICK THIS LINK to check that out.

So, I already went into Saturn’s Retrograde station this year, which…one would think the Lord of Karma would get a bit more fear and awe than little ol’ Mercury, but no, marketers latched onto a planet that has not one massive karmic DUMP once a year- to one that hits 3-4 times a year. So, now, we have a shitload of this happening, every time the announcement of Motherfucking Mercury Retrograde comes out.



My use of “motherfucking” here is totally tongue in cheek, if you couldn’t tell. I wrote a fairly popular Mercury retrograde guide, which, I made the mistake of putting up on Amazon. It was, frankly, decent cigarette money each month and when I totaled up the sales I realized my biggest Mercury retrograde lessons for that year were: Do not put your work on Amazon.

I seriously stopped writing the little blurb about retrograde being an optical illusion- jesus tits, if I wanna put some filler shit in my blog I’ll just rant a bit more. About Amazon taking all my money. Anyway. Let’s have a looksee, here.

So, right now, you’re probably going, “The heck, Tori? Why do you have all that extra crap in there?”

And it’s a valid question, really. Here’s one of those things you should probably get on with a quickness- simplify some things. I have it on there because I look at certain things due to a personal affinity to said things. Let’s look again:

There we go. Now we can move forward, uncluttered, to look at the actual issues. Oh fantastic, more love and money problems. You probably should have guessed- this is a theme. Thing is, this is in Taurus and guess what planet rules Taurus? Venus.

This would be why I started out this series by encouraging you to look inward. ‘Cause boy howdy, your own head and heart isn’t right- your love life and your wallet will be a hot mess. And so it goes.

Let me begin by explaining transiting Mercury retrograde- this happens 3 or 4 times a year and usually drags on for 24 days. Again, just one part of a bigger cycle- wherein Mercury stations direct, then retrograde, then direct again- same degrees, enters and exits retrograde zones. Pre-shadow’s like a little peek into what you can expect, and the post-shadow is where you can continue to address some things. Funny how that shakes out.

You probably already know it’s communication related. I make all sorts of Queen jokes for the obvious reason but, Led Zeppelin’s probably more appropriate- especially for this one.

Your nerves might be jangled, you may experience crappy travel stuff, you could lose some things, and tech can go haywire. Worse than all of that, you might start thinking about the ex or the past- or EVEN WORSE, you might actually get a real life visit from that ghost from your past.

Generally it’s a bad idea to commit to anything during Mercury Retrograde and you should be a bit more mindful of your words. Discovering how limber you are because while your foot’s in your mouth, your head is also up your ass is kind of common.

Just the basic facts- can you show me where it hurts?

Let’s take it back to Mercury moving into Taurus from Aries. That may have been kind of a balm considering Mercury in Aries was like blabbermouth city. From the end of March until now, it may have felt like some of those ideas you have- really did have staying power, but…maybe, just maybe you felt those rumbles of doubt starting to ripple through. Odd little nagging what if’s and anxiety.

Mercury in Taurus is ALL about Keep It Simple Stupid and if you happen to be an overthinker, this may be a time when you start to pare down the plan to something more workable. So why the nagging little doubts and anxiety? Because Mercury actually moved into that pre-retrograde zone on March 21st- so, the more convoluted shit began to eat at your core there and again, we have the whole “Good intentions paving the way to hell” thing- because, well, you can mean well all you like but if the plan’s all wonkadoo and crazy elaborate, it’s still going to get a wrench or two thrown into it. Purely by virtue of more places to stick that sucker.

Worse, Taurus being a fixed sign, some of those ideas you had might have just gotten a Hulk Smash- which can also cause considerable issues with your confidence levels. You might have found yourself- or you find yourself in a position where no compromise is there to be had and it may not seem like there are a whole lot of options.

With Mercury stationing retrograde on the 9th, this may get amped up just a bit more and you may find that the answers you’re looking for are slow in coming, unless the answer is “No.” That one seems to be pretty abrupt in a lot of cases- but this is a good thing. There is almost always a good reason for it- whether you see it now or not and it will shake out: just wait. Anyone who has ever dated a Taurus, raise your hand if you’ve been late to pretty much every freaking thing. Think about it a minute. Still, Taurus has some really awesome qualities and you’ll find that the time this is shaking out in that sign is a bit of a breather though it may seem like a roadblock. You will find that though yep, a few of those ideas were crap- the ones that are not have a way of showing through the cracks of your broken dreams there and offering a hell of a lot more hope and potential for long term results.

The T Square Make or Break

You might be feeling like the world’s on your shoulders and you need to make big big choices right freaking now. Odds are pretty good you do not- and in those cases where you absolutely must: you had best check yourself before you wreck yourself because if you find yourself being tempted towards making nasty threats at people or attempting to control people because your ego is boo hooing over a thorn in its paw: oh honey. Don’t. You see, big thing here is the Sun is opposite Jupiter in this thing and this can be AMAZING. You could have some cherry opportunities nibble at you and be feeling pretty good- but, you get all high and mighty, go full on prima donna and those shots slip through your fingers. Not only that, you’ll likely encounter some kind of embarrassing situation as the Universe is like “Uh, sit the fuck down.”

Don’t be greedy, do not get all power hungry or jealous and petty and do not resort to shady behaviors to get your way. You might be thinking all dog eat dog, but in the end, you’re the one going to the pound if you do. You may also be dealing with people like that and the temptation to stoop to that level can happen- but, resist it. It may suck and it may feel like they’re “getting away with it” but, they’re not.

Oh, look at the Moon

Okay, so, you look at the T square and if Saturn’s not already slapping your ego ass- this one probably will. Like I said, I am not one for doom and gloom but when it comes to fevered egos- I don’t mind saying: please, for the love of fucking everything, just stop.
The biggest aspect you’ll find in this retrograde’s actually one you may have never even heard of- a quincunx.

Typically, a quincunx is challenging because the planets involved are kind of “What the hell?” at each other- different modalities, different elements and it can be pretty hard to find a middle ground. This one is the Moon and Mercury- which, can make for…oh lemme bust out some more Zeppelin.

Before I REALLY get into this, let me mention again the Venus stuff at play here: until the 15th, Venus is still retrograde. It’s also square Saturn, retrograde. Throw in the Mercury retrograde with this as the big factor and you’ve got a recipe for possibly feeling the bite of those choices you made- or didn’t make in the past. Confusion and a lack of clarity meet this freakish feeling of fate at play- and you might do something really stupid if you don’t pull back. So, pull back.

With this quincunx it’s going to feel like your brain and your heart are at war- and who has the answer here? Neither one. You need to pull back from the emotions- but not do so with such staunch intellectualism that you forget your heart entirely. Looking at neither hot nor cold- stick with warm for now. This holds much more true for situations where you are emotionally entangled- you will be more likely to make an emotionally based decision and not thinking clearly: which isn’t a great idea.
Putting it all together with everything else- balance may be hard won, but, you need to strive to win it in all things. Believe me, once Mercury stations direct in Aries: the time for taking risks is going to come and toss in a conjunct Uranus at this time, but also several very pleasant trines: it’s okay to not decide for now. It’s okay not to act for now. Even if you are feeling very impatient because you’re nervous, you’re afraid because you cannot control the outcome: take a peek at that whole motivation to “control the outcome” and it should give you plenty of internal work to keep you distracted from the external for now. And it needs to happen, because, while typically I would write out the part about the direct station: that’s so good I’m going to have to do a whole stand alone post about it. So, as usual: mind your ps and qs, slow down, reflect and by the time this is over: you’ll have a much more hopeful path ahead. Let’s close with an ironic, albeit ENTIRELY appropriate one:

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