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Here’s a recipe for the cold weather months coming on….

Chicken Noodle Soup
Because every time I post photos of my food, people ask me for recipes. So, HA! I gotcha this time, interwebs!

The soup

1 chicken
I recommend plucking it and everything else you have to do first. I keep seeing ear-rings and shoes made of the feet, but I think that’s probably bad juju for some reason. You could also just buy a chicken corpse. It’s up to you. Mine was frozen this time. Gertrude’s getting a bit uppity though, maybe next time it won’t be.
1 onion
4 cloves garlic
1 package of frozen green beans or a big handful of fresh
you can probably also use a can if you want but I have done it and it tastes weird
1 package of carrots, diced or sliced into coins
1 half package frozen lima beans
2 stalks celery, cut up into..half coins? You probably get the idea.
1 teaspoon of sage
1.5 teaspoons thyme
I have no idea how much rosemary it was. I grabbed a little branch, I yanked and smashed the leaves, I threw it in and that’s pretty much what I usually do
Pepper to taste
Salt to taste
1.5 cups milk
¾ cup flour
You can, of course, leave all the veggies out, or do your own thing. I won’t come to your house and yell at you. Unless you want me to. I hear people sometimes get paid by the hour to do that.


4 cups flour
4 eggs (You can leave them out if you want)
teaspoon salt
three tablespoons melted butter
little water here and there

What I Do

I get a really, really big, heavy pot with a lid. I put the chicken in there and cover it with water. I get that heating on medium. While it’s heating, I dice the onions and throw them in. I watch the dogs lose their minds over the smell of the chicken cooking for a while. Once the chicken is boiled up, I take it out of the pot. I put it on a plate, away from the reach of the dogs. This time, I realized Jim bought the niftiest little hammer. I beat the crap out of the garlic cloves, threw them and the celery into the pot. I let this simmer for a bit while I make the noodles.
For the noodles, I pretty much make a dough, roll it out on a floured surface using a floured rolling pin. I cut it all sorts of ways, depending on my general mood. Sometimes, if I am being lazy, I just put more water in the mix, leave out the eggs, and throw the globs in the chicken stock. You can make more noodles, you can make less noodles. This time, I made less noodles.
Once the noodles are rolled out and cut, I get the stock boiling, throw the noodles in for a couple minutes at a full rolling boil. I turn the heat down, throw in the remaining vegetables, the spices, and usually at this point, chase a dog away from the chicken. I put the milk and flour from the soup recipe into the stock. I turn the noodles in stock down to a simmer, then I rip the chicken apart. Sometimes I will toss bits of skin in, usually, the dogs get it, which is why they hang out, I’m pretty sure. Though, Katie ate flour. She’s sort of mental like that, though and for some reason, whenever I cook, it gets everywhere. Even when I’m not using it. Don’t ask.

She doesn’t have any white on her nose, really and she definitely doesn’t have any on her eyebrows or back. That’d be flour. Ah, Katie. You’re a good match for me in the kitchen.
Sometimes if I’m feeling particularly plucky (Ha!) I’ll just use up the whole chicken but generally, someone eats parts of the chicken, or I cube some of it to make chicken salad later. It’s really up to you. This makes a lot of soup. Anyway, chicken goes into the soup, everything simmers for a while and then you eat it. Tadaaaaa. Fantastic, glorious, chicken noodle soup.
Which is great, unless you’ve got it sitting on the stove, cooling to room temp so you can pack it up for freezer soup and a big jerk of a dog called Goober gets up there, knocking it all over the floor.
Then, the sick fella you were cooking it for slips on the floor and eats his- well, you get the idea. It’s a bad scene. If I were you, I’d just stick to making the soup.
It’s much less frustrating for everyone involved.

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