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Can We Talk Honestly About Armadillos?

Them’s good eatin’.
Some say. I don’t know, I had it once and it really just tasted like pork. Not chicken, that’s what everything else tastes like.

I happen to think armadillos are some of the most adorable little guys out there.



1. One of the dogs places a dead one (Or two) somewhere that it needs cleaning up. Ew.
2. They turn my garden into a den of armadillo delights. Jerks.
3. They dooot dooot doooot dawdle in the middle of the road, right after a curve, in the dead of night and then LEAP into the underguts of the car.

I collect dead things. I take dead things and I bury them in dirt, where they decompose into nifty bones- then, I whiten the nifty bones. I love this.

However, someone once said to me, “Like, hermegherd, Holly, aren’t you SCARED of getting the LEPROSY?! BECAUSE YOU WILL TOTALLY GRAB THIS LITTLE ROTTEN CORPSE OF AN ARMADILLO AND YOUR NOSE WILL FALL OFF.”

… I google. Holy crap, what a surprise, mainstream media has decided to induce a panic, over all things: armadillos and leprosy.

Lemme clear up a couple of things:

1. Leprosy’s actually fairly easy to fix these days. So, should you catch it, you will not likely have to go village to village begging for alms anymore and having people shy away from you, repulsed at your grotesque visage. Newp. Depending on the type of leprosy you get: First, you’ll get a biopsy. Then, you might have to take some antibiotics, you might end up with some heavier treatment, but….

Just like this guy.

The thing about the bacteria that causes leprosy is it’s kinda weak. The other thing is, humans should be thanking that cute little booger, the armadillo, for everything we do know about it and the advancements we have made. Not that they have medical scientist armadillos in little lab coats- though, that would be awesome- but because it is so weak and grows SO slowly- add in the fact that they could not get it to grow in any other cultures or bacteriological medium, armadillos greatly aided in studying it. You know what they found out? Oh, about 95% of the world’s population is immune to it, anyway.

So, how would you go about getting leprosy from an armadillo?

They’re actually not really sure. One woman who contracted it, they believe may have inhaled armadillo poop particles. Two others killed armadillos near their homes and got it. General consensus is, though, that the bulk of all leprosy cases these days comes from ingesting armadillo meat or blood that has not been cooked properly.

So, I buried my armadillo corpses, and made damn sure not to get any goop on me, and even then, I disinfected myself thoroughly after. But you don’t need to deal with that unless you’re going to be eating them or …well, if you’re a bone collector, like me.

Where most of the people I talk to have to deal with them is in the garden, becoming a pain in the butt. How do you get rid of them in your garden?

Make them think your garden hosts a bunch of predators. Coyote pee, dog pee, and other predator pee does run them off, usually. Barring that, if you’re wondering how to get rid of armadillos in your yard or garden: a little fence around it sometimes helps, but also- they’re looking for grubs, so, if you’ve got them going bonkers in your dirt: odds are you have grubs, too. Get rid of the grubs, you might get rid of the armadillos.

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